I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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