a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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