I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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