we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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