I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
