Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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