he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
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