All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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