Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
