She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize