her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
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