I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
