Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Randomize
