Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Randomize
