Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
