He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
