We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Are we still banned from the library?
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
