I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
