I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize