Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
