exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Randomize
