you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Randomize
