I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
