i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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