I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Randomize
