Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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