We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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