you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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