Sponge bath it is.
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
