Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
