Ambien. No doubt about it.
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize