u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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