We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
