no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
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