11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
