I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
