So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
