tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
