did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
We don't watch enough power rangers
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
