id be glad to
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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