their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Randomize