Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Randomize
