so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
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