margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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