he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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