Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
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