so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
