well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Randomize
