The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
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