would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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