Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(540): View more from Virginia

she looked like the before picture.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees

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(559): View more from California

The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.

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(519): View more from Ontario

It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.

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(917): View more from New York City

Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms

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(928): View more from Arizona

Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.

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(303): View more from Colorado

Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.

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