You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
We had sex on a dog bed..
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Randomize
