Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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