so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
