is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
