His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize