So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
