This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize
