I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize