we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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