sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
