just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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