if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
