We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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