I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize