So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
