Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I looked at my own cervix.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Randomize
