that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
