even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
