She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Holy sore nipples Batman
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
